‘I’m outta here.’ says James Murdoch, as he announces his bid to open a hot food takeaway in Yorkshire’s most famous town. Howard Elston, our dipso-diplomatic editor, reports. James Murdoch, the young media tycoon with a head the shape of an electric lightbulb, today dramatically quit as BSkyB boss. In a letter to the board,…
Our man in Parliament, Sir Howard Elston (DOA), who spends a lot of time at Greggs in his downtime, reports on a major political breakthrough for Dave Clegg and Nick Cameron. In a move that will split the country in half, the coalition has come up with a plan to stop the impending petrol strike…
Howard Elston, our Westminster reporter, reveals vital new facts over the Cash for Access Row
Our diplomatic editor Howard K. Elston files another political scoop
In an explosive scoop interview with no one else but me, deputy Tory leader Nick Clegg has told me, exclusively, how the NHS reforms will work once they are railroaded through Parliament. Top points are: ++As revealed on this site months ago, A new DIY health care package that sees patients perform minor surgery on…
Our arts correspondent, Howie Elston, reports from Hollywood on a timely movie that could grab the Oscar for best film.
Britain has been rocked to its very footballing boots by a shock double jobs exchange. Howard ‘The Topman’ Elston with this breathless scoop
Howard Elston, our avian correspondent, with news from the marshes of Britain.
Howie Elston, our boy in Hollywood, takes a peek at the top movies that could win an Oscar. Newsflash from California’s sun kissed coast: As I sit here with my triple White Russian and a handful of tortilla chips, news drops of the frontrunners for the Oscars- a night that all (who are invited) will…
Howard McElston, our North of Carlisle reporter, puts down his claymore to tell us about developments in Tartanonia.
Howard Elston, our diplomatic editor, with an intercontinental scooperoo to shock the world
Howard Elston, our entertainment reporter, with a scoop to send movie fans scurrying for the multiplexes. Meryl Streep, ripe for Oscar awards with her portrayal of Margaret Thatcher in the film The Iron Lady, is set to play news boss Rupert Murdoch, Hollywood insiders told me last night. Speaking to Tinseltown’s movers and shakers, I…
Our diplomatic editor Sir Howard Elston reveals The Big Scoop for 2012 Coalition hardman Nick Clegg today made a dramatic bid for power when he secretly signed on as North Korea’s deputy leader, it is understood. He is to become Number Two in the Pyongyang dynasty under chubby panda-like boss Kim Jong Un. Nick, resplendent…
Our economics reporter, Sir Howard Elston, analyses the latest shock move by the government to rescue the UK from the hurricane of Euro fiscal disaster. The British Lion roared last night as it launched its latest campaign to buoy up sterling. In an effort to throw frogs’ legs into the face of the French and…
Our science editor Howard Elston (RBI) gives us the latest in the shocking new development that will change our very lives- forever.
Howard Elston, our Westminster editor, files this shock report on Nick Clegg’s sudden decision that he will leave government this week
Our top man Howard Elston has been undercover for the past three nights as a member of the 3rd Battalion of the Jeremy Clarkson Hit Squad.
Dr Liam Fox will be deployed to protect the The London Olympics next year, according to secret defence plans being drawn up deep within the bowels of the MOD. The former defence minister, who left because he has mates he likes, will be used as a shield against sinister forces who want to disrupt our…
Our diplomatic editor Sir Howard Elston has just been allowed out of jail and sends this report from Brussels
By Flight Lt Howard Elston, our man embedded deep within Whitehall The banking industry is ready to unleash NATO jets on anti-capitalist protestors encamped outside St Paul’s Cathedral, I have learned. Sources deep within the MOD told me this morning that the airborne force, manned solely by Bulgarian (transitional) pilots are ready to strafe and…
Guess who’s Coming to Strictly? Howard Elston, our showbiz reporter, tips us off about future guests on the bigtime show. Sources deep within the entertainment world are abuzz tonight with news that the corpse of Colonel Gaddaffi will be appearing on Strictly Come Dancing next week. He will replace the latest clunky celeb to be…
Yes, indeed, I have been hired by the former defence chief Lee Fox to head up his new research team. I will be a special advisor advising him on really important advising things now that he has decided to seek new horizons after playing with big armaments and body armour. Confirmation reached me today as…
Top sources inside Parliament said today that Defence Secretary Dr Liam Brady (Tory) will take a gap year after Christmas.
TOP reporter Howard Elston gives us his eye witness account from Libya on a last ditch shoot-out with an autocratic dictator The sound of desperate gunfire, a bunker engulfed in flames and the panic of a defeated and crumbling army- that’s the setting as I crouch behind a stone wall hearing the whine of tracer bullets…
From Howard Elston, Our Man in the Know with the Blackberry in his hand and a cheese and onion sandwich in the other Top Tories, furious at having to cancel summer holidays, are to sue rioters for loss of leisure time. PM David Cameron had to wipe out part of his Tuscan jaunt; Treasury boss…
By Our Chief Senior Diplomatic Correspondent Howard ‘The Ace’ Elston with the Scoop Of The Year
By Ace Elston, our medical reporter James Murdoch, the son of mega media boss Rupert Murdoch, is to be given a real heart in place of his artificial organ, I can personally reveal. Investigations by the Elston Report research team have found that James, who so famously stumbled and disingenuously shrugged his way through the…
Nick Clegg has undergone a secret operation today on his Inner Coalition organ – and experts say it may change the way he speaks.
Howard Elston, our top reporter who helped shut down the News of the World, has this EXCLUSIVE interview with Rupert Murdoch.
Monumental pressure by me, Howard Elston, has forced the Murdoch clan to shut the odious News of the World, I can self effacingly reveal.