Exclusive: Murdoch Boss in Heart Swap Drama

By Ace Elston, our medical reporter

James Murdoch, the son of mega media boss Rupert Murdoch, is to be given a real heart in place of his artificial organ, I can personally reveal.

Investigations by the Elston Report research team have found that James, who so famously stumbled and disingenuously shrugged his way through the select committee last month by using a lot of Harvard Business School argot, will have the hush-hush transplant later this week.

A surgeon at Walsall Community Hospital told me: ‘It’s a fact. Believe it. James is already in pre op and we’ll be looking for a real organ by tonight.’

‘His artificial heart, called Oz, will be recycled and will be put out with the rubbish on Friday morning. It will be re-used a a back up battery re-charger for our city’s environmentally friendly public bus system.’

Mr Murdoch will take a week off work before getting back to his desk to re-write his personal history and explain why he knows nothing about nothing regarding The News of The World or The Sun and its dealings with paid off cops; the phone hacking of child murder victims; and, allowing demented staff to creepily listen in on colleagues’ phone like a pestilential swarm of pervs.


A News Intl spokesman said: ‘Mr Murdoch is in Walsall on  holiday. He and his family will be taking in the sites, viewing the M6 (southbound) from our historic Motorway Viewing Platform,visiting the leather museum and heading for the beach. I cannot deny or confirm his artificial heart will be thrown out. He has done marvellous work with his bloodless cardiac system and there is no reason to conjecture that he will get a real one.’

++This is the second amazing medical exclusive from Ace Elston, our top reporter. Last week, he exclusively revealed how Nick Clegg had his voice re-wired to sound like Ed Miliband