NATO Jets Ready To Pound London Activists

By Flight Lt Howard Elston, our man embedded deep within Whitehall

The banking industry is ready to unleash NATO jets on anti-capitalist protestors encamped outside St Paul’s Cathedral, I have learned.

Sources deep within the MOD told me this morning that the airborne force, manned solely by Bulgarian (transitional) pilots are ready to strafe and nuke the Occupy London demonstrators who have brought ecclesiastical bosses to their communal knees.

A top finance whizz told me over a cappocino-lite in a Threadneedle Street wine bar: ‘We’ve had it with these weirdos. Many of them don’t even have an ISA account.’
‘Now that NATO has pounded the hell out of Gaddaffi and his henchmen, it’s time we paid some serious attention to enemies nearer our gates and my Surrey home.’


a jet like this may bomb demo

The finance men have the tacit backing of the whole Church of England who have been made to look like whipped puppies who’ve had their tails snipped off.

A Lambeth Palace spokesman told me over a cappacino-lite on Southbank: ‘If they believed in God or washed once in a while, I’d say hold off on the NATO  air force.’

‘But by jings, I’m backing our allies now to do what’s good for the country. And the church.’


Liam the former Cabinet man

Dr Liam Scottyman who was sacked from the cabinet after being found out to be a jerk said:  ‘Bomb ’em. Just bloody well get in there with the first strike. That’s what my special advisor  says. And that’s what we should do.’


And military expert, Honest  Phil from Leeds, who also has a reputable second car dealership near Elland Road, added: ‘NATO jets aren’t good enough for them. They should be hung, drawn and the other thing.’