Finally Some Sanity: News Boss to Investigate Herself
BY OUR MAN EMBEDDED IN FLEET STREET – HOWARD ‘ACE’ ELSTON, OBE
Tories Take to the Streets in Summer of Discontent
Dozens, if not hundreds, of cabinet ministers have taken to the streets today for a better financial deal following a breakdown in talks with the rest of the country.
Mass Troop Withdrawal from Battlefield Wimbledon
AN EXCLUSIVE REPORT FROM OUR SPORT EDITOR HOWARD ‘BUTCH’ ELSTON
Blatter to Rule Fifonia with An Iron Fist After Spring Revolt Fails
From our man in Fifa-ville Howard ‘Hazza’ Elston who has been witnessing incredible scenes in the capital after today’s election
Serb Thug In Line for Top NHS Job
Our Diplomatic editor Howard Elston with a shock decision by Whitehall mandarins that will rock our health service
EXCLUSIVE: Our Reporter Rises to Heaven in Rapture
Shock: Howard Elston has been swept up to heaven as part of The Rapture and files this AMAZING story from the Pearly Gates. In an astonishing event that will rock my very world (and anything above) to its very core, I found myself channelled up to heaven yesterday as part of my personal Rapture. Yes, it…
Live From Vegas: Elvis and Osama To Open Tonight on Stage
Another incredible eye-popping smash exclusive by our entertainment editor Howard Elston….
The Royal Wedding: Exclusive News of the Honeymoon
Our Royal Reporter Sir Howard Elston sends us the latest from the wedding. Prince William and Mrs Prince William will honeymoon in Damascus according to my top-tip source inside Buckingham Palace. She told me: ‘They’re young and in love and always are up for a bit of a dare and a laugh.’ ‘Harry said to either…
Killer Drone Flypast for Royal Wedding
Prince William and Mrs Prince William will enjoy a special air display when they leave Westminster Abbey
Exclusive: Lord Mayor ‘To Run for Newsreader Job’
The Lord Mayor of Birmingham has signalled he may run for ITV’s anchor spot on its Midlands news show.
Coalition To Topple Gaddafi, Says Secret Source
Coalition air strikes will continue until the Gaddafi regime tumbles, an inside defence source has told me in a shock exclusive interview.
UN: Bad Guys Must Wear Black Hats
The United Nations today unveiled its plan to lessen confusion over who to support …….
Libdems ‘Caused Blues FA defeat’- Shock Claim Exclusive
By our football reporter Howard ‘Ace’ Elston An astonishing claim surfaced today that the Libdems caused Blues to crash out of the FA quarter finals. The allegations surfaced as Birmingham City narrowly lost to Bolton 3-2 on Saturday and failed to go through the semi finals. Nick Clegg, the former Mr Niceguy of the…
Murdoch ‘enters Tripoli’ and on verge of victory
Howard Elston, our very own really good reporter, files from the Libyan frontline.
Shock Report: How to Bypass the Despots and Sell Arms
By our defence reporter Howard ‘Ace’ Elston A top secret report from Whitehall has signalled a new way to stop selling arms to despotic regimes, such as Libya, but guarantee defence jobs back here in the UK. Westminster mandarins have developed a plan, codenamed Operation Killjoy, which will protect the future for employees who make…
Birmingham ‘To Be Sold Off’-New Report Says
Another Scoop by our unflagging reporter Howard Elston The Coalition government is to sell off Birmingham in its latest gambit to save UK cash, I can reveal. New top secret documents forwarded to me at The Birmingham Press newsroom show that the Prime Minister, his Chancellor George Osborn and the Liberal democrat other guy say…
Philosophy X Factor To Return to Our Screens
Commercial station ITV today launches its new look Philosophy X Factor today with Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole among the judges to find out who is the top brainbox in Britain.
The Elston Report: Mubarak Sold to Chelsea For Record Fee
In a move that has stunned the geo political world, Egypt boss Hosni Mubarak has been sold to Chelsea