The Elston Report: Mubarak Sold to Chelsea For Record Fee

Howard Elston reportsBy Our Man in the Know- Howard Elston

In a move that has stunned the geo political world, Egypt boss Hosni Mubarak has been sold to Chelsea for a fee believed to be in excess of £65m.

The sale has sent shivers through both the Middle East and the English football hierarchy.

The President hopes to make the move by the week end so he can suit up for Saturday’s match and possibly partner new signing Fernando Torres.

To fill the gap at Liverpool- now that Torres has left for £50m- the Liverpool team are anxious to buy either Nicolas Sarkozy of France or, in a bold bid, in-form Barack Obama from the US.

Last night Chelsea bosses were united. One told me: ‘Mubarak will add weight to our line up and he is lethal with either the right foot or the jackboot.’

And on the streets of Cairo, there were mixed reactions. Mohammed Al Qudhi, at a barricade near the City Museum, said: ‘Let him go. He’s finished here.’

But Miriam Omar, a journalist, said: ‘To lose Mubarak at this stage of the season is madness. Though the money could help our bid for the 2024 Olympics.’

Smaller teams in the UK are outraged. At St Andrews, a spokesman said: ‘To buy the beleaguered Egyptian president has left us stunned. We can only afford the outgoing Irish president Brian Whats-his-name and he’s got a foot like a potato and a face to match.’

The Birmingham FC comment will only add tension and excitement to the West Midlands scene with rumours of a possible move by late Villa supremo Martin O’Neill. It’s believed he will become interim top man in Cairo until a full democracy is installed in Egypt.

Meanwhile, to allow us to use the name David Beckham at least once in this article, the English star said from his Los Angeles home: ‘I like democracy. It’s good.’