Finally Some Sanity: News Boss to Investigate Herself


Top newspaper bosses today applauded the decision by News International to let flame haired tabloid beauty Rebbekah Brooks investigate herself and her own dubious dealings as editor of the top Sunday paper The News of the World in the wake of the phone hacking scandal.

‘It’s a brilliant idea and with her brain I’m sure she will get to the bottom of whether she was a lying deceitful repulsive editor and knew about the illegal phone hacking. Or whether she was just an incompetent fool who didn’t know what was going on in her own newsroom,’ said a source from the top daily paper The Daily Express.

Ginger-haired Rebbbeka Brookes will knuckle down tomorrow at 8 am sharp after combing her glorious main of curly movies-star locks to see just what she did or didn’t do when the cretins she employed used dirty tricks to bug innocent people, the police and top celebs.

A News Intl spokesman told me: ‘We don’t know what she knew or didn’t know as the editor of the top Sunday tabloid. But she’ll find out.’

But The Guardian newspaper which has banged on incessantly about the News of the World stories was critical.

A columnist told me over lunch: ‘ASrrrrgghh… f*cking h*ll… bollocks… arffffffggh.’

Or words to that effect as she choked on her spinach, pea and ricotta tart wrapped in filo pastry.

Word on the Street tonight is this is the most rigorous investigation yet into the News of the World criminal activities. Police could not hack the paper’s corporate secrets and time after time, after pocketing thousands of pounds in bribes from the paper, the cops correctly found nothing wrong at the news offices.

But now with Rebaka Brookes in charge of things, Fleet Street may be seeing light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to truth and honestly. ‘I can say without a shred of doubt that Ms Brook will use her brains and find out she is innocent. As is everyone else on the staff except for one or two schmucks who were on short term contracts who we’ll feed to the dogs.’ said the source.

Tonight David Cameron, who is Prime Minister of the UK, paid tribute to Ms Brookes. ‘She is a champion of the people and everyone’s friend as long ase she is working for Mr Murdoch.’