Sir Howard Elston, our espionage correspondent, gives the details on Boris’s big break-up.

 
Police were called to the London home of Boris Johnson and his partner in the early hours of Friday after a neighbour reportedly heard a loud argument.

The Guardian said “Carrie Symonds was heard telling the Conservative MP to ‘get off me’ and ‘get out of my flat’.”

It is alleged that the Tory leader candidate  was sitting on a sofa, drinking a cup of tea (herbal), watching the news and rustling through the day’s papers while surfing the net.

Neighbours, who just happened to be recording through a wall claimed he went to the kitchen, made himself a sandwich and then said he was taking the dog for a walk. That’s when chaos erupted in the Bojo flat, it is alleged.

A Tory source said: “It’s outrageous that the lead man for the Prime Ministership of our great nation should act like this.

“We are being led down the path right now by a loony who has squirrels juggling with knives in his head”

”Imagine just sitting at home on a couch on a Frday night instead of stuffing Bolivian marching powder up your left nostril while trashing a Greek restaurant in the West End. This is not what the party expects.”

Police admitted they were called to the flat on Friday night. They would only comment: “We talked to the two people in the domestic abode. The lady was calm but obviously upset. The guy with the hair spouted Tacitus in Latin and said he just wanted to review his utility bills. There will be no charges.”

Our Westminster insider, Phil from Leeds, commented: “Outrageous stuff. Johnson is off the wall. Imagine watching TV and having a cuppa on a Friday night. Where was the cheap beer, the curry take out and a bonanza pack of salsa crisps? Cripes, this man isn’t fit for office.”