G’bye, dear Trumpsylvania

Sir Howard Elston, who followed the president’s career since he cheated his way through college and faced bankruptcy after bankruptcy, charts The Trump Legacy.

I am sitting on the Trump Tower front steps in full body armour and masked from both covid and tear gas as I re assess President Trump’s last four years as king of the free world and governor of Trumpsylvania. 

On the economy: Trump says: “I have created the chance for any hard up millionaire to become rich and invest in petrochemicals and the military and avoid jail but have the ability to create secret stash funds throughout the world.”

On the election: “Rigged. Stolen. A fraud. And that’s the one where I beat  Hillary. The Loser.”

On honesty, he says: “I never lied in my life. I untruth for the sake of the red white and blue.”

On education: Lord Donald told me: “I absolutely love education. So did my family who paid off the University of Pennsylvania to take me on as a student. I gave  every man, child and others the chance to raise themselves up and emerge as a four-times corporate bankrupt, just like me.”

On defence: “I like Arsenal. They showed great resolve in its 3-0 destruction of Newcastle. The Magpies just couldn’t get past the secondary.”

On culture: 

On the environment: “I have left Trumpsylvania as the cleanest of the 53 states in the Union. It is beautiful, a beautiful state with golden skyscrapers, ethnically cleansed parks and standing armies on every corner.”

On family values: “I believe every man in my state should have a family, if not two or three.”

On Mike Spence, his VP: “He has very nice hair and dresses like the assistant chairman of a provincial golf club. He’ll make a very good Trumpsylvania governor.”

On his record: “I will always be proud of the crimes I committed.”



3 thoughts on “G’bye, dear Trumpsylvania

  1. In case you didn’t see it, the Washington Post’s Trump fact-checkers say that in his 4 years as President, Donald Trump made 30,573 false or misleading claims. That’s roughly 20 every single day.

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