A right ding Dong affair

Andy Munro has a chance meeting and gets an exclusive.

Not being able to dine in these days, I decided to visit my local Chinese takeaway. When i got there I thought that I recognised the guy behind the counter, who looked remarkably like the Blues CEO. As I was wearing my BCFC face mask, I thought I would be cheeky and ask him if he’d be wiling to do a quick interview. Amazingly, he agreed as long as I ordered a Special Chinese Banquet for Four.

So here’s the interview while the kitchen were cooking up a storm in the back..

ME: Why haven’t you sacked Karanka yet given the worst run of results in living memory?

DONG: Are you crazee? it would be like pangolin voting for a Chinese New Year! I appoint him and no Chinaman like to lose their face as you know.

ME: Some people say you know nothing about football?

DONG: Next question please.

ME: Would you consider selling the club?

DONG: Yes, when we can get at least £50 million although even that will still not clear debt and anyway, there is more chance of your Boris Johnson getting a deal with my homeland than getting a buyer at the moment.

ME: Some people say that you are too secretive and don’t want to talk to the fans.

DONG: Whoooo?

ME: Are you concerned about the state of the ground and safety issues?

DONG: Of course but if the Tilton collapsed then that would get rid of most of my critics and anyway it will eventually be academic with our plan to move the Chinese Quarter from Bromsglove Stleet to Small Heath, when the Bues go into administration.

ME: What happens if we go down?

DONG; Well, to be honest, I don really care. I will be working full-time here!

ME; Which reminds me – what are you doing working here?

DONG: Got to bring some money in somehow with no fans in the ground.

At that point, we had to terminate the interview as my takeaway arrived from the kitchen so I paid up (cash only accepted) and left.