In an explosive scoop interview with no one else but me,  deputy Tory leader Nick Clegg has told me, exclusively, how the NHS reforms will work once they are railroaded through Parliament.

Top points are:
++As revealed on this site months ago, A new DIY health care package that sees patients perform minor surgery on themselves on flatbed trucks that will patrol neighbourhoods. This service will be free at the point of delivery. Surgical tools will be purchased through Amazon at amazing knockdown prices.

++A new plan to take the smartest youth employed and train them in fast track medical education so they can become brain surgeons at the age of 23

++A ban on sick people to cut back on waiting lists.

++A black out on any questions about the soar-away NHS reforms in order to quicken the pace of giving the public a better health service

Deputy Dawg Clegg defended the reforms as a new opinion poll showed more than half of all voters believe the Government should drop its controversial NHS shake-up.

Deputy Dog

Deputy Clegg said the Health and Social Care Bill had been changed “very considerably” since a pause in the progress of the legislation through Parliament last year in the face of criticism from medical bodies.

In his exclusive hush hush interview  with me, which is exclusive because no one else showed up to talk to him, he went on: “I am a passionate Liberal Democrat. I am also a Tory toad. And I care passionately about the NHS. ‘

And he added as we sipped a good claret in the Commons bar: ‘I also care passionately about my future as the clip-on government number two. And I will defend my right to be a Tory stooge.’

He continued: ‘The DIY surgery is our passionate coup de grace. Because folks would be operating on themselves, there will be less  complaints and this will cut back on admin charges and long drawn out court cases and damage allegations.

‘Everyone will be a winner.’