Dr Liam Fox will be deployed to protect the The London Olympics next year, according to secret defence plans being drawn up deep within the bowels of the MOD.

The former defence minister, who left because he has mates he likes, will be used as a shield against sinister forces who want to disrupt our very way of life, sources said.

The US has repeatedly raised the spectre of terrorism next summer. It wants ground to air missiles ringing the M 25 in addition to the recruitment of 3000 fat New York City cops eating doughnuts and diet Mountain Dew as they guard the stadia..

But the US plans have been shelved. Instead, Dr Lee Fox will act not only as a human shield but also as an attack weapon to ensure East London is safe.

Lee to the rescue?

Major Michael Mantle, a chief strategist with the Dudley Territorials, said: ‘Dr Fox is a superb choice. He will give security to the hundreds of thousands who will watch our glorious athletes win medals doing sitting down things like horse riding and rowing.’
Dr Fox was unavailable for comment as he was on a business trip to a number of dubious countries when the Olympic protection plans were unveiled.

This website’s very own expert, Phil, (a second hand car dealer from Leeds, who is a also top –rated Yorkshire hockey player) commented: ‘I would have bought tickets to the wrestling if I knew Our Lee was going to protect me.

Phil from Leeds

‘I mean, ground to air defensive weaponry is one thing. But Lee Fox there as a human shield is another.’
Phil, who is doing a fantastic offer on low mileage Mondeos this week , added: ‘Hiring Lee is the best thing ever.’