Dancing Man?

Guess who’s Coming to Strictly? Howard Elston, our showbiz reporter, tips us off about future guests on the bigtime show.

Sources deep within the entertainment world are abuzz tonight with news that the corpse of Colonel Gaddaffi will be appearing on Strictly Come Dancing next week.

He will replace the latest clunky celeb to be booted off the programme.

It is understood that both Brucie and Tess think it’s a great idea. The dead tyrant’s family are 100 percent behind the plan.

A senior producer for the top show told me while quaffing a Czech beer at Raymond’s Review Bar: ‘If you’ve seen Russell Grant grappling with the rhumba, then the body of a murderous thug can’t do that bad either.’

The former Libyan deranged leader, who was dragged from a drain pipe and then assassinated by the rebels last week, was renowned as a man who enjoyed a good night out. His own private Tripoli-based  quiz team won every pub contest in the Libyan capital since 1968. And he is a real Bruce Forsyth fan having followed him since The Generation Game.

Tv critic and second-hand car dealer, Phil from Leeds, added: ‘The Colonel’s corpse will help ever burgeoning viewing figures in the fight  against The X Factor.  Even though he is dead, he will make a great guest- especially if he wears his gold lame number off the shoulder.’ (see above)

Bouffant Mystery Guest

Other star guests may include North Korea’s eternal leader Kim Jong Il. The bouffant Playboy of the Eastern World has written six operas and is known to love ballroom dancing along with torture, starving his population and building dirty nuclear weapons.