Ten Things I Hate About Me – Joe Tracini

Jessica Harris watches a challenging yet uplifting performance at Birmingham Rep.

There’s a lot of chat around about mental health right now. But to get inside the head of someone with a borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a learning experience and something of a privilege.

Joe Tracini’s candour about his condition is striking. His ability to tell his story, to get deeply personal about how he has been affected by this complex disorder, is remarkable. As he talks, a sense of the way that he has taken ownership of his BPD comes through. It’s been a long journey, but after initial panic attacks when faced with performing the show, Tracini can now clearly make sense of the condition, and engage others in the conversation.

And the audience picks up on this. Sensing his emotional bravery, we go with him, rooting for him all the way. Yet there is always an edge to his performance. This, after all, is a lifelong situation that, for him, has been associated with suicidal thoughts and addictive behaviour.

In an hour-long, fast-paced show, Tracini takes us from his childhood years to his present-day. At the age of eight, he became a magician at children’s parties, a formal suit being his favourite attire. Pretending to be someone else was a way of coping. And he developed the skill of lying to get himself out of tricky situations.

As an adult, during the lockdowns of the Covid years, videos of him doing a dance routine in a leotard went viral. But on the medical front, the advice he received was less than helpful. One source said, “It’s all in your head” (well, yes!). Another instructed him to “Get a dog”.

When the diagnosis of BPD finally came, it was life changing. Before that, Tracini thought he was broken. Now, he realised, his emotional difficulties were a result of it. Knowing this isn’t a ‘cure’ but it helps in dealing with the profound, sometimes disturbing, feelings that have been his constant companions.

With no fourth wall, Tracini’s open demeanour and beaming face is an invitation to us to see things through his eyes. Pathos and comedy go hand in hand. And nowhere is this more so than in the music. Just two songs in all, Tracini delivers them in the same style as his spoken words. There’s a bit of a tune to them, and he accompanies them with a few chords on a ukulele. But we know not to expect too much from his intro to the show. The two songs, he says, will be relatively far apart because basically they are both the same!

Known to many for his TV roles, including Hollyoaks, and for the BAFTA nominated Channel 4 documentary, Me and the Voice in My Head, Joe Tracini is the best kind of ambassador for mental health and wellbeing. His lived experience of BPD and his preparedness to speak about it are precious assets. Ten Things I Hate About Me might be thin on music, but it’s full to the brim with energy, honesty, laughter and hope.

Ten Things I Hate About Me was produced by Norwich Theatre. For further information see facebook.com/joe.tracini

Images – Richard Jarmy