Howard: My Dangerous Undercover Life Working With Lobbyists

Sir Howard Elston (DOA) describes his valuable work in the House of Commons and how it puts the Great back into Britain


Howard Elston


Recently, there have been scaremongering press reports, TV articles and cybernet e-things about the vital work I carry out as an MP- especially when it comes to my crucial undercover missions  I perform liaising with lowlife lobbyists.

As an operative for MI5, MI6, the FBI,  Pinkertons and the News of the World (RIP), I have selflessly negotiated deals to raise issues pertaining to Fiji’s national netball team during Question Time in the House.

This was done to show this great nation of ours just how easy it is to pocket cash from these nefarious  elements trying to curry favour with elected members. I wish to make it clear that all £100,000 given to me is to be donated to the Howard Elston Friendly Society for Sick Kids.

And furthermore, I find it despicable that the dumbed down British media has decided  to hound MPs such as I  who place ourselves in danger for the common good. What right do reporters think they have to reveal the secret work we do for Queen and country?

The media is to blame…for everything. I shall be taking legal action. But I am not sure against who.

As Edmund Burke told Parliament in 1772: ‘It is for the people that MPs should aggrandise their pocketbooks. We are a society which looks to our leaders to learn how to enrich our lands and properties.’

(Part 2 of this crucial insight continues tomorrow)

+Dear Reader..what do you think? Best answer gets a long week end in Istanbul to attend the riot of your choice.