HOWARD SHOCK EXCLUSIVE; Becks To Return to UK For New Top Job


HOWARD ELSTON, our international football reporter, on the latest from Beckhamland

Sources deep within the world of sports have revealed to me exclusively and for the first time King David’s next move as he retires from US soccer.

Becks will come back to Blighty, they promise,  and either pose in his underwear for a Poundland ad or take over the running of the Leveson Inquiry fall out, according to people I trust and know. They say he sees crucial importance in both when it comes to the future of the UK

His wife, Victoria ‘Posh’  Spicegirl Beckham will buy a Range Rover, slink about a bit and hang out with Princess Kate at Home County polo matches while talking about world poverty.

Beckham in his underwear: New Job

Beckham took the world of US soccer by storm spending much of his time either injured, playing for Milan or having lunch with Scientologist Tom Cruise.  While most of America gobbled down baseball, gridiron football or basketball, tiny bits of information would dribble  into US sports sections talking about MLS soccer and Posh’s sporty hubby.

‘PM David Cameron, who  unbelievably  has the same first name as Becks by the way…’ says my deep throat,  ‘is in trouble over press outrages and the fall out over the Leveson investigations into why so many politicians run scared   of the media.’ she said, ‘He wants Our Becks to take over the  inquiry.’

The first move by the 37 year old tat-laden athlete will be  to ensure everyone buys a very expensive watch with lots of dials on it. Then he will begin the arduous task of getting UK England back on track,  I was told over a cup of Bovril and a Marlboro Light.

‘He also wants all tax payers to to give their offspring names like Savannah, de La S’Ol and Staten Island. That’s his view of the future.’ my sources conclude.

Beckham is due to meet Sir Alex  ‘Happyface’  Ferguson this week. They will kick off a campaign to see if there are any athletes left in the UK who can play Premiership football without getting videoed in a nightclub brawl,  kicking the daylights out of someone at a kabab shop or smashing their Ferrari on the M6 at 4 am while loaded.

Posh, who will be adrift after leaving LA and Rodeo Drive, will collaborate with Our Beautiful Princess Kate to teach underprivileged kids how to model on catwalks.

Pete, a fashion expert and outdoor  pursuit specialist  from the Lake District commented: ‘ King Dave will knock ’em dead. He also looks great in gortex boxer shorts.’