Another incredible eye-popping smash exclusive by our entertainment editor Howard Elston
Osama bin Laden and Elvis will appear in a double act in Vegas, sources deep within the entertainment mega-sphere have told me.
The two icons – one an evil killer and the other a fat singer – are not dead but alive and rehearsing up a storm ready to kick out the jams in a knock-out one nighter in The Sands Hotel on The Strip, the secret insider tells me.
The informant said: ‘They’ll do mainly country stuff and some basic MOR rock. But no gospel.’
Already tix for the prize event are going like hot cakes with, it is rumoured, huge names en route to pack the audience. It’ll appear live on Sky Arts and Fox on the telly and be the subject of a massive HD surround-sound movie called ‘So, You Thought They Were Dead.’
Ellis Purseland, the UK’s foremost astrologer and soothsayer to The Celebs, said from his Skegness HQ: ‘Both bin Laden and Elvis were born under the same star sign, Asparagus Rising. This is a clear indication to us top astrologers that all the rumours are true. They are alive. Also Elvis didn’t die on a toilet while eating a cheeseburger which only adds weight to my argument.’
Since The King’s reported death, many experts have said they have seen his face in nimbus clouds over Australia and heard his unique singing voice in their central heating systems when they turn on override.
Osama bin Laden was reported killed by US troops ten days ago. But Sarah Palin, former mayor of a town in Alaska and expert on everything including Russia, said she won’t be satisfied the terror killer is dead until she sees President Barack Obama’s birth certificate in 3D.
‘When I see that, I’ll believe bin Laden has been offed.’ she said
‘Obama is to blame for everything including the extermination of the dinosaurs and The Salem Witch Trials – which were kinda a good thing in a funny sort of American way, if you know what I mean-and it is suspicious that his name kinda sounds kinda like Osama the Terror Guy, if you know what I mean, (wink wink, nudge, nudge).’ she told a 1000 strong crowd in Omaha Nebraska.
Ms Palin will be attending the Vegas event as an arts reviewer for The Tea Party Bugle. She is not related to Michael Palin who is on the telly and was once funny.
