SIR HOWARD ELSTON, our celeb reporter, has had his personal photos flashed on the Net. Here, he describes his pain

OMG. OMG. OMG (writes Sir Howard from his penthouse suite overlooking downtown Cannes where he is currently on the last leg of his community service work).

I have been right and truly hacked by evil cybernet thieves who have broken into my iCloud thing and slapped 1,400 of my most intimate photos and videos onto every IPAD, laptop and mobile in the known universe.

The hurt and shame are unbearable. These images, taken on holiday, were for my personal use and never ever did I ever think something in Cyberland would actually be seen by anyone.

What a shock.

It seems they stole the intimate images by cleverly tapping into my I-world by picking up my mobile, which I had left in a taxi, and deviously copied my PIN number which was stencilled on the phone’s back cover with a big arrow pointing to the four letter code. Hell,I will never do that again, that’s for bloody well sure.

Now that I have totally been gawped by 1.3 million seedy viewers, all the world, including my employers on this site, will know …ahem…what I really look like.

These 3 celebrities had their nude pix slapped on the net

What shame. I never thought by simply filing those images of me stretched out on those rocks on a Crete beach that I would be seen by ANYONE.

I now feel the pain that Scarlett and Jenny and other celebrities like me feel. Where is our personal space? Where is journalism’s heart now that these creeps can tease viewers with the headline: You will never believe who Sir Howard is with in the all-together. CLICK HERE NOW!!!!!!

I can only advise any other victim who has been gawped or clickbaited and robbed of their dignity to do what I did:

Sell the pictures on Ebay before anyone can see them for free.

(Phil, a well known Yorkshire second-hand car dealer and internet image expert said: “Any person who thinks I sneaked into Sir Howard’s Icloud and fed his noodie pictures to the world will hear from my lawyer.

“I was working on the forecourt of my dealership in inner city Harrogate when it happened. And boy,lemme tell you folks, those Dacias are flying off the front lot. Simply flying out of here.

“So come on down and remember: Buy one of Romania’s fab hatchbacks and win a free photo of Sir Howard grabbing some sun with his tush all over the place.”)