Howard: New Spy Exclusive

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From HOWARD ELSTON, our man in the hot seat with the tape recorder under your bed.

New revelations reach me in my news eyrie that US spy chiefs want to recruit Murdoch journalists to help them snoop on their ally pals.

An insider told me over a groaning buffet table of peanutbutter and banana sandwiches and Coke Zero cocktails that the hacks from the News International kingdom would help protect freedoms.

He said: ‘Gosh darn it. Those Murdoch press people are the best when it comes to phonehacking, stealing, conspiring, lying and generic creepy snooping.’

‘Hell, they’ll even go through your trash. What a bunch of professionals.’

Current British law prevents this site from
naming specific hacks that the NSA want to hire as court cases are live and come under the rules of prejudice and contempt.

But I can reveal that the Washington spies are keen on anyone who lives under the self delusion they are above the law in order to file crap for their crummy Murdoch papers.

The top snoop added: ‘Howie, you old sea dog, the sooner we sign those cowboys the better. They beat anyone coming out of Spyschool USA.’

Phil, a second hand car dealer and security specialist, commented:’Whew, those Yank snoops know a thing or two. I had one in here a day or two ago and he ordered a Ford Fiesta with machine guns and revolving satellite dish.’