from Sir Howard Elston, friend of the Royals


13 BABY 2


Here it is, the first photograph of the third in line to the throne of Britain. And what a young monarch to be he is too.

The exclusive pic was snapped by chief surgeon Lord David Beckham only seconds after the birth, I can reveal.

At Dr Beckham’s side were senior nurse Lady Cheryl Cole, obstetrician Saint Sebastian (Coe),  court jester Sir Jonathan Ross and top tv producer Mr Simon Cowell.

”The little boy let out a lusty cry of life and we all got down on our knees and gave thanks to the gods in heaven,’ said Lord David as he scratched a new tattoo of Buckingham Palace recently etched onto his left elbow.

Lady Cheryl, the new mother’s best friend, said: ‘Why Aye, man, let’s have a tab ootside and sink a couple of pints, like.’

On top of the hush hush top secret pic (above) taken with a Hasselblad H3DII, I can reveal the name of the third in line to the throne of England, UK.

It will be Howard.

And as Howard The First, he will be given the honour, I have garnered from royal sources, that he wil retain Aquitaine after its sad loss 435 years ago.

Royal watcher Phil from Leeds, who is also a leading second hand car dealer, commented from his Yorkshire eyrie: ‘By being named Howard, Will and Kate have fallen in line with a billion years of tradition. By the way, those Passat turbo diesels are quite literally flying off the forecourt. Get down now to pick one up.’