Man City ‘To Buy Greece’

Howard Elston reports


Howard Elston, back from a secret mission, has this exclusive to make your eyes pop.

Man City, fresh from its historic title victory,  is to purchase debt ridden Greece, my diplo-footie sources have told me.

The new champions of England will make a formal bid for the troubled Balkan nation this afternoon after a victory tour of the city and a kebab and retsina slap up buffet.

The locally rooted Manchester based team, owned by Abu Dhabi, managed by an Italian, powered by players from every corner of the earth who play in the Etihad Stadium, has decided, in a boardroom meeting late last night, that its intention this coming year will be to build a dynasty in the home of the Olympics.

Sergio Aguero, who scored the eye popping stunning stupendous made no mistake from five yards out dramatic goal to seal the title will become Finance Minister and immediately take Greece out of the Euro. Edin Dzeko will opt for the culture and transport brief and Vincent Kompany will tackle home affairs.

Roberto Mancini, team manager said:  ‘We beat Man U. Why not take over Hellenic civilisation? We are all pre-Socratic now.

‘I have always loved Greece.’  he opined as champagne flowed in the dressing room. ‘Especially John Travolta and that dancing he did with Olivia Newton Stavros.’

Premier League teams will also be eyeing the nation takeover fever, my friends in the FA have said. Villa is looking for an all out putsch of Redditch; Newcastle desperately wants its hands on the dreaming spires of Durham and Leicester would like a chunk of the nearby M 6 toll road.

Alex Ferguson, neighboring Man U boss said: ‘The refs are a disgrace. It’s a fix. We were the better team. Why don’t they do something about anything that doesn’t go my way? It’s a disgrace. Appalling.’

And Phil from Leeds, who owns a string of high quality second hand car dealerships, and is an expert on football and European affairs said: ‘This will blow away the sceptics. Man City is the team to take over your country. And take it from me, our Mondeos- with aircon- are flying off the forecourts.’