Sir Howard Elston, our Hispaniola correspondent, lights up a big fat see-gar with The Prez and talks about bringing Havana in from the cold
Sir Howard: Mr Lord President, Sir Barack Obama and really cool guy, welcome to my secret journalistic redoubt here in downtown Des Moines and tell us about the agreement with the Cuban regime where a guy succeeds the incumbent and just so happens to be his brother…shock, surprise, what a funny old world we live in kind of thing.
The Prez: Now, now, Sir Howard, let’s move beyond that and pass the cigar box please.
SH: So, Bazza, what’s the deal then? Why get all cuddly with the Castro Boys Inc all of the sudden?
TP: We can both move forward bilaterally and see historical differences and…
SH: Cut to the chase Prez, where’s the meat?
TP: Cheap rum, nice beaches, great baseball players…
SH: Good start, muy Obamerto…
TP: ….sugar cane to feed our obese nation, big marks for the Catholic vote and another 400 years leasing Guantanamo Bay so we can play deny torturing terror suspects who are guilty.
SH: There ya go Prez, that’s more like it. And in return….
TP: Racist policing of Havana streets to keep it safe for American cruise liners, reality shows, Brad Pitt, white cracker barrel trash politics, Madonna going topless for a magazine ad. I mean, what else would they want?
SH: Lord Obama, a million thanks for sitting down with me.
TP: And a big slap on the back for you too Howie. My men will be around to pick up the rest of them there cee-gars right soon.