Looking relaxed and sporting a freshly minted orange tan he opines: “Look Howie, lemme get one thing straight”, he says over a triple cheeseburger and a peanut butter-flavoured  Diet Coke. “I demand the highest personal standards from my staff and the judges I own.

“If one of ’em even shows a hint of moral weakness, a dicey sexual past or kinky links with Playboy bunnies, porn stars, wannabe actresses or Russian call girls, like….they’re outta here”, he declared sticking a strangely small finger in the air for emphasis.

“Under the powers invested in me under the Stormy Daniels Act, I have asked the FBI, which I hate, to find out if Brett ‘Crybaby’ Kavanaugh ever dropped below the highest levels of moral probity.

“And, as the greatest president of America since Mel Gibson, I am sure that…….”

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