Elston’s exclusive shocker: May’s big Brexit interview

Howard Elston allows Theresa May a rare audience to find out how she stands when it comes to finally sorting out how her bolshie and divisive cabinet will negotiate Britain’s exit from the EU.

Sir Howard: Elle Telle, take a pew for a chinwag, old girl…

Theresa May: Cool…how they hanging, Howzer?

HE: Like crystal chandeliers at Versailles, Tez. First question..

TM: Fire away…

HE: What’s ┬áthe plan on immigration once we leave Europe next March?

TM: No idea…

HE: Trade?

TM: No idea…

HE: Irish border?

TM: Nope.

HE: Defence?

TM: Next, please…

HE: Farm subsidies, finance, customs, higher education…..?

TM: ┬áNope, no idea, haven’t a clue, in that order….

HE: (shuffles briefing notes) Terry, you got 8 months to figure this all out…..what you been doin’ for the last two years since we voted to leave?

TM: Lovely chatting, old chum, must rush ….

(The full riveting interview is on sirhoward.co.uk)