So for a change, this match report contains what I would have said to each of the players, if I were manager after the match as it’s them who have got him the sack. If it was a Sunday football side that had performed like that it would be laden with expletives but I have left those out in the interests of delicacy…

STOCKDALE: You harp on about your wonderful distribution but it was as poor as Kuscak on an off day and your command of the area was, quite frankly, non=existent.

NSU: You were told it was the last chance saloon a game ago. You have one half-decent game then you’re back to being rubbish….one swallow doesn’t make a summer and if you can’t beat a man or put in a decent cross, don’t bother to come over the halfway line as you’re wasting everybody’s time.

DEAN: Previously captain of Brentford? You might as well be captain of the Titanic. I look for leadership and see none. You were bullied by Hugill and you looked a lightweight.

MORRISON: There’s two jobs for a central defender stopping forwards and making quick simple balls out of defence. You failed abysmally on both counts and between you and Dean the central defence had more holes than a string vest.

COLIN: A wonderful goal, but it’s just a shame about the other 89 minutes. If you give a winger twenty yards space to receive the ball, don’t be surprised if he runs you ragged and that’s how you ended up, like a limp rag.

DAVIES: You built a reputation as a battler and fighter for the side so what in the hell’s name has happened? The hype has obviously gone to your head and you need to get back to basics. You’re certainly no superstar.

N’DOYE: Fair play, you won every ball in the air in the first half as I would expect a big lump of a player to do but in the second half you looked just that – a big lump!

MAGHOMA: You play with a fancy topknot, but you need to be good to carry that off so I suggest you get yourself a short back and sides. You’re lightweight, falling over at the slightest touch and you haven’t a clue when to release the ball.

WALSH: You’re just a kid but despite your misplaced passes you were man enough not to hide and put in some decent dead balls kicks. One of the few to come out of the game with a semblance of credit.

BOGA: A Premier League club get Loftus-Cheeke and we get you. You’ve got the footballing brain of a pea running up more blind alleys than a blind man in Hampton Court maze. Pace to burn? I’d put you on a footballing bonfire.

GALLAGHER: You’ve been laughingly called a prospect and you are another one who believed the hype. You were bullied off the ball in the air and on the ground and you missed the only easy chance you had.