Firstly, I would choose the upstairs room of the Jewellers Arms in the Jewellery Quarter – a cosy and historic pub with great beer and room for a DJ in the upstairs room. Unfortunately though, for them, I would be using one of my balti house mates to provide a buffet with the likes of samosas, bhajis, tandoori chicken and curries with not a fish paste sarnie, sausage roll or pineapple and cheese chunk on a stick in sight!

The DJ would be over fifty or he wouldn’t be hired and be given a premier play list of 20 compulsory toons with instructions that he won’t be paid if he plays any Tamla, soul or rap. Reggae would be allowed on an occasional basis.

My playlist is fast-paced to allow those getting up for a boogie to throw a few shapes, hopefully without seizing up with arthritis. Ladies, as they used to be called in my pomp, must take their handbags onto the dance floor for orientation purposes so they could dance around in a circular direction like the good ole days.

So here’s my playlist….Jumping Jack Flash (Rolling Stones), For Your Love (Yardbirds), I Can See for Miles (The Who), Do Wah Diddy (Manfred Mann), We Gotta get Outa This Place(The Animals), I’m Alive (The Hollies), Back in the USSR (The Beatles), You Really Got Me (The Kinks); Rocking in the Free World (Neil Young), 500 Miles (The Proclaimers), Don’t Look Back in Anger (Oasis), My Perfect Cousin (The Undertones), The Irish Rover (The Dubliners), Handle With Care (The Travelling Wilburys), Hollywood Boulevard (Green Day), Losing My Religion (REM), I Won’t Back Down (Tom Petty), Fire Brigade(The Move), Marrakesh Express(Crosby Stills and Nash).