Mr Green checks his computer files[/caption]
Sir Howard Elston, our Westminster man in the know, disentangles the laments of Damian Green.
There’s been such a hullalaboo over Mr Green’s sudden disappearance (scribbles Sir Howard) over Porngate and what he did or didn’t do over a friendly cup of tea with a young researcher, that I feel it necessary to de-code his well considered statements before he left Downing Street yesterday in bit of a hurry.
Yes, Greenie is gone. He’s guilty of being found out. But let’s go over the words of his fond farewell to Ms May, his colleagues, the valiant press and his pals at the police who had the temerity to allegedly discover dirty pix on his government computer. What do these words actually mean?
Here’s a rundown of semantically important nuances, as we like to say in the linguistic trade
Resign = sacked
Sudden Departure = sacked
Reconsider my position = fired
Forced to resign = fired
Stand down = sacked
Spend more time with my family, my model airplane collection, helping the poor= sacked
Phil from Leeds, a noted Parliamentarian semantic expert who also runs a highly successful plumbing business in West Yorkshire, commented in a commenty sort of way: “Hey, lay off the guy. MPs get a rough ride now that they can’t makes a mint out of dirty expenses, flipping second mortgages and freebie junkets to exotic islands.
“By the way, I’m doing a great post-Christmas deal on central heating pumps. More than 30% off if you’re a sacked politician”.
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