Prime Minister David Cameron has sat down with Lord Howard Elston, our money editor, about getting his hand caught in the cookie jar
Lord Howard Elston: Prime Minister, thank you for sitting down with me this Sunday morning when you could be frolicking in one of your homes with Samantha and the kids, playing fetch with your dog while having a pint in your local and watching Villa lose again.
David Cameron: Well, I guess I am just an ordinary guy, enjoying my beer, watching the footie, enjoying the family, panicking over the EU, wondering how we are going to save the steel industry and…
LHE: You were caught with your hand in the cookie jar .
DC: Yes, my hand was in the cookie jar. But I never ate a crumb.
LHE: But at first you didn’t even admit there was a cookie jar. And now there is proof you were dipping your fingers in the jar.
Cookie, jar, hand
DC: My late father – God, I miss him – set up that cookie jar and those cookies are totally legal in Panama to help this country and aid its economy after being ravaged by Labour for the past 100 years.
LHE: When you were caught with your hand in that cookie jar, what were your first thoughts?
DC: (interrupts): I never took a bite from the cookies while I was Prime Minister.
LHE:But before being Prime Minister you might have had a nibble.
DC:That is not relevant. I never ate a cookie from that jar, that I know of to my best knowledge, which the media continues to obsess about.
LHE: Thank you Mr Cameron.
DC (smiling as he hands over a cup of Earl Grey):Biscuit?
(Phil, our political specialist and an offshore second hand car dealer, adds: “This shows our Prime Minister is an ordinary guy who will raid the old cookie jar totally legally when he thinks no one is looking. Three cheers for Dave, our Dude in Downing Street, who has his finger on the national pulse.”