The Birmingham Press

Howard’s big bad question bonanza

Sir Howard Elston, the smartest guy in the newsroom because he can access Wikipaedia from a magic chip implanted in his pancreas, responds to your frantic queries.

Sally from Leeds asks:

Gosh, Howie, why has Britain offered places for 20,000 refugees over five years when Munich alone took in 18,000 people just this last week-end?

Sir Howard responds:

Sally, as you are from Leeds which is in the North, you probably are not familiar with William Shakespeare. He is the Bard of England and he wrote about Britain thusly, “This precious stone, set in a silver sea, which serves it in the office of a wall or as a moat…”

The Swan of Stratford, as he was known, was thus for tough anti-immigration rules. And as The Bard also railed against the French, the Spanish, the Russians, the Flemish, the Scots, the Welsh, the Irish and, of course, the Portuguese, he lay the template ensuring we remain “…this precious stone set in the silver sea…”

Got it, Sal? Huh?

Do you have a question for Sir Howard? Send ’em in and those attaching the biggest cheque made out to The Elston Fund for Sick Kids will have their submissions used.

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