Howard Elston, our entertainments editor, reports on today’s biggish story.
The exhibition, which is destined to stay open for five years, is a hot ticket must see item throughout the world and includes daily video clips from the Life of St Cammo, latest exciting bio-info on Jeremy ‘Mr Sad Face’ Corbyn who is threatening to nationalise fresh air, and highlights from the Nik Clegg Unemployment Hour.
Ticket sales have especially skyrocketed in refugee camps in northern France and in all military hotspots worldwide, say observers.
One Syrian hopeful said: “I just want to start my life again in a crummy provincial town plagued by charity shops, stand in line at food banks like other Brits and watch brainless TV while gorging out on haggis pizza and quarts of Macdonald’s sugar-saturated smoothies.”
‘And,’ he added, ‘ I want to retrain as a British banker to learn how to take advantage of all that is offered in Dismaland UK.’
Leading commentator Prof Phil from Leeds, who is a major shareholder in Dismaland UK, commented: “The summer is over and the grey fog of uncertainty and austerity will once again bless this sceptered Isle once more.
“So come on down and be emotionally crippled by Dismaland UK’
“And, by the way, I shall be giving away a pair of tickets to two lucky people who can guess which mystery former Prime Minister of Dismaland had put the squeeze on that Chilcot dude in order to suppress the Iraq war inquiry.’