A PERSONAL MASSAGE FROM SIR HOWARD ELSTON, OBE
There has been criticism over the past day over the way that my Fox News team has portrayed the English city of Birmingham as ‘Muslim only.’
Our news staff, many trained to secondary level education who can do joinedy-up writing, stand by their assiduously researched story. They thoroughly checked and re-checked every fact with the help of our special journalistic unit The Dickface Cheney Investigative Project and they back every word they uttered the other night.
I say to America: “Here in the land of freedom, what Fox says is truth. Not like those smelly effete liberals at our sister organisation, Sky News, which many times actually veers from the Way News Should Be Reported. We stand for the unalloyed honest facts as approved by Roop The Snoop Murdoch.”
This is my news team that reported the Muslim-only line.
Fox Journalists
As you can see they are all top reporters drawn from the deep well of Fox talent.
I personally have visited the village of Birmingham many times while golfing at The Belfry, visiting Jeremy Clarkson in nearby Chipping Norton or attending a Barry Manillow concert at the city’s NEC fairgrounds and I found it dangerous, probably the most dangerous city in Scotland.
Despite standing by my colleagues, I also back the reporter’s donation of a billion dollars to the Birmingham’s Children Hospital in case Ebola strikes everyone under three in this divided city. It is a grand gesture indeed and shows how we back our little English buddies as they battle to improve their impoverished swampy island despite living under Mr Cameron’s (or should I say Mr Cameronski’s) Communist regime
I now confer the Nigel Farrago Humanitarian Award on the whole news staff for their unrelenting job of reporting this dangerous world riddled with assumption, bad facts, misinformation and downright lies.
Just as we called the Iraq war correctly, just as we called the Afghan war correctly, and just as we correctly backed Sarah Palin as she lined up in the vanguard to attack Russia from her Alaska home, we say today to our British friends with their twisty teeth, their crappy cars that fall apart, their fundamental inferiority complex to the real Europeans, their diet of french fried potatoes served in a cone of yesterday’s newspapers with their bowler hats and their Beatle haircuts:
We are proud of what we do. We are Fox News to the core. We back Britain.”
SIGNED,
SIR HOWARD ELSTON
FOX NEWS CORP