The Birmingham Press

Howard Shockeroo: Downing St. Protest On US Phone Bugging

Howard Elston reports on a politico-shocker that will rock the world of diplomacy as we know it .

UK leaders,including Engerland boss Dave from Downing Street, will today send a firm message to the White House condemning the surveillance of international allies.

A source told me over a peanutbutter and banana sandwich drizzled with a hint of cinnamon: ‘The PM is livid that Yank spies are not listening to what Mr Cameron and his Cabinet were saying.’

‘Brit bosses feel they have been snubbed.’

Documents leaked by computer nerd Ed ‘Snoop’ Snowden show both Bush and Obama said public sector cuts in America could be aided by ignoring what Britain has to say.

The source added: ‘GW is reported to have told his VP Dick Cheney ‘The UK barks when we whistle. Why spend cash when a Brit politician will do what we order them to anyway?’

American spymasters agreed and used the cash to snoop on Boston Red Sox baseball fans in case they revealed a risk to US security.

Phil, a security expert and internationally famous used car dealer from Yorkshire, said: ‘What? No one listens to Cameron when he has a face like a balloon? I can’t believe it.’

Follow Howard on twitter: @sirhowardelston

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