Our Very Important expenses-laden Washington correspondent Lord Howard Elston on the latest chapter in the American fiscal crisis.
Frantic US political attempts to avert a federal debt default have pivoted back to the Senate after plans in the House of Representatives collapsed.
Now I can reveal that international peace itself is under threat if there is no resolution to the impasse. The US must raise its $16.7tn (£10.5tn) debt limit by Thursday or risk default.
An inside-the-Beltway source, chewing gum, sporting a Gloch semi automatic and unable to link two sentences together, told me over a pint of Jack and soda:
‘ If the commies in the White House can’t make a decision, our Drone strategy will go under.’
‘That’ll mean no more nuking of wedding parties in Pakistan, no more wasting schoolklds from pilotless planes over Wherever-stan and no more major hits on government offices in Kabul.’
“It’s a stone cold pity.’ he told me while scrafching at his nether regions, ‘But the Tea Party have promised me and other lobbyists for Truth and Justice and American Medicine that things have to be sorted out before baseball’s World Series begins and everything stops in this blessed nation.’
The insider also confided that the US secret snooper spy agency, the NSA, will not be able to operate if the financial debacle continues. ‘Our emails would not be vetted and would go out unchecked.’ he warned. ‘That would mean no surveillence of The Daily Mail or Essex celebrities.’
The source was about to go on. But at that point he slid beneath the bar at the exclusive Washington eaterie where we were getting bladdered on BirminghamPress expenses
Our diplomatic specialist, Dave With The House in Spain, said: ‘This is scandalous. Imagine all of us with secret emails. We must put a stop to this madness. It is 28C in sunny Espania today. Ciao’
Check out Howard on: @sirhoward elston