Our Public Affairs reporter Howard Elston (DOA) tells us why Prince Andrew, the 235th in line for the throne of England UK, wants to become a policeman
This week end has been fraught for Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, after being stopped by police in the grounds of Buckingham Palace.
The Met Force has now apologised for seeing an overweight surly unemployable ex- soldier roaming the exclusive fenced off royal grounds mumbling to himself and swigging from a bottle of Scottish Highland multiblend grain whisky and admitted they made a mistake.
The Duke accepted their error in his usual catty shoddy way and added in a cheap condescending manner that sometimes the police get it wrong and PCs had a tough job.
But now I can confirm that he was so impressed by the police uniforms, and cool cars with stripey things on them that he wants o join the force.
‘I also like the wads of loose cash tumbling out of their pockets and access keys to the News Corp golf club ,’ the straight talklng Royal said.
Likes to dress up
The Prince likes uniforms and hopes to pound the beat in urban areas such as downtown Grimsby or Liverpool.
‘I’ve been at a loss ever since Fergy colossally dumped me yonks ago. And since my bank account is stuffed with all my earnings from overseas trade missions, I really don’t need the cash.’ he added sipping Pimms laced with 25 year old Talisker and diet Coke.
‘It’s time to give back to the nation…and put on that nifty clobber with all those neat pockets.’
Andrew’s brother, Charles, next in line to the English throne of the UK , backs the jobs swap. Yesterday, dressed in that camel haired coat that makes him look like a bookie at a dog track, he quipped: Quipquipquipquip…’
And Fergy, by the pool in Los Angeles sipping an Ocean Spray cranberry lite, added: ‘Andrew?’
Phil, an avid royal watcher and renowned car dealer from Halifax commented: ‘Off with their heads. Bunch of tossers. But, mind, my Passat estates are flying off the forecourt. They all come with AC and reverse gear.’
follow Howard on Twitter: @sirhowardelston