The US Secretary of State sits down for an audience with our own very diplomatic supremo, Sir Howard Elston (DOA)
Howard Elston: Mr Secretary, congratulations on your joint success with Russia in stopping use of chemical weapons in Syria
John Kerry: Yes, we are pleased that we have stopped this ghastly episode
HE: It means thousands will not die from these inhuman attacks
JK: Yes, instead they can be legitimately slaughtered by planes, guns and bullets
HE: And let’s not forget being butchered by machetes, rocket grenades and bayonets
JK: Yes, The Russians and we are glad to bring some sanity back into the war
HE: It will take until 2014 to remove the stockpiles
JK: Yes, the Russians and us are happy that the Syrians will use the chemical arsenal for only one more year.
HE: And then…?
JK: A better more pleasant way to butcher people will continue and terrorise the Syrian population A great day for sanity
HE: A laudable decision too that Assad and his lieutenants must report on what stockpiles they have buried away within a week
JK: Except of course, for the chemical weapons they won’t tell us about
HE: A milestone, indeed
JK: We’re very proud of that.
HE: Indeed. Mr Secretary, thank you
JK: Of course, the thanks are appreciated