Sir Howard Elston, our home economics editor, sits down with Fiscal Cliff in his Tampa Bay pad to find out why President Obama must make compromises. Here are the edited highlights of that exclusive interview:
Sir Howard Elston (DOA): Fiscal Cliff, you’re the man in the news these days inside the Beltway, in Westminster and in Birmingham, UK. How does it feel?
Fiscal Cliff: I am energised. I really am. I have just finished a couple of hours in the gym, had a swim, played with the kids, chatted on the cybernet with Warren Buffett. I’m ready to rock ‘n roll.
HE: Barack Obama, the American US president of the United States, has hopped on a plane to deal with the problems you created. Are you flattered?
FC: I voted Tea Party. Let the mountain come to…err….me. Let it stand on that. And Donald Trump and I have certified proof that Mr Obama is a Kenyan citizen masquerading as a Christian American.
HE: But to the point, will you allow tax hikes to force rich folks to pay more to help poor people
Mr Cliff: Meets with Obama soon
FC: Sorry, really didn’t understand that question…
HE: Will you allow tax hikes to force…
FC: Hey, did you catch the new Hobbit film? The kids loved it. And that weather you guys are having over there in the UK British islands. Something else, isn’t it?
HE: Fiscal Cliff, many thanks for your thoughts on the worldwide economy and the need to change how we balance the books
FC: A pleasure. And that Lord Wiggo fella? Jeez, what a guy. By the way, my people will talk to your people about invoicing for my time.
+Next in our End of the Year special features, we talk to Prince Harry about why Pre Socratic theory is still relevant today in the world of nude Vegas week ends