by Howard Elston, our Whitehall reporter with his ear to the ground and his nose in a mellow Speyside malt
Top politician Mr Nique Clegg has been extradited to Manhattan to face international terror charges linked to illegal underground Coalition affiliations.
Last minute appeals in London failed and he and four other Libdems, fellow travellers Paddy Ashdown, red haired Danny Alexander, Vince ‘The Boss’ Cable and another one no one can remember are also on a plane today.
They will be met at JFK by a crack team of counter-terror Marines where the four will be shackled, chained and brought to Manhattan’s Lower Third Precinct courts to face a judge tomorrow.
Mr Nique Clegg, notorious henchman to England’s supremo Davey C, is charged with organising and co ordinating from parts unknown ‘…an illegal coalition set up to provide a secular government arm to traduce the British peoples.’
Shackled
Specifically, the charge goes on, he ‘…deceived the voters over VAT rises, tuition fee increases and the destablisation of the health services while colluding with known Etonians in bars, private clubs, Whitehall addresses and county homes in the Cotswolds…’
He is further charged with inciting voters, in open air meetings, to follow fundamentalist Libdem policies that no one really understood.
Mr Nique Clegg, as he is known in both America and the UK, if found guilty in a US court, will be forced to take part as a third party in the November presidential elections. and form a coalition, under FBI supervision, with Mitt Romney.
Last night, Lord Michael Mantle, one of England’s most senior judges said: ‘We looked at all the facts and judged he was just a second rate small time sub-Bullingdon operative who could not tell the truth. He belongs with Mr Romney.’
Mr Nique Clegg’s lawyers stressed that he was suffering from gross delusions and should be left to stay in the UK waiting insurmountable amounts of time on an NHS waiting list for sociopathic diseases. This was rejected in a late night sitting at Ormskirk Magistrates Court.
As he and the other gang members were put on an RAF plane at Brize Norton airfield, he shouted to waiting media: ‘I am innocent. I only lied for the good of my country. It is the best of times. It is the worst of times. Twenty years of schooling and they put me on the dayshift. These revels are now ended. God save the Duchess of Cambridge. I have not been driven crazy by Davey C and his pals.’
Dr Marcus Tang, a Glasgow political expert, commented: ‘He is a lying two faced Janus-faced low grade loser who terrorised the British voter with his deceptions. Let the Yanks have him and his spineless cronies.’
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