by Howard Elston Himself- Our Man In Fleet Street
Monumental pressure by me, Howard Elston, has forced the Murdoch clan to shut the odious News of the World, I can self effacingly reveal.
Today David Cameron, an old Etonian who is also our Prime Minister, said: ‘Thanks to Mr Elston (OBE), I can rest tonight knowing this cretinous rag will no longer exist.’
And Nick Clegg, who is also a politician, added: ‘Yes, whatever Dave says is correct since I am a Liberal Democrat and have no backbone.’
This website spoke to a source known only Phil from Leeds who has worked at the NoW for decades. He said from his Yorkshire redoubt: ‘This is big news. Bigger than Brian Lara playing for Warwickshire. Howard Elston’s bigtime campaign has slain the beast.’
And he added: ‘Does anyone want to buy a used Saab?
A spokesman for Scotland Yard said today it will be reviewing its finances.