From Our Crime Correspondent….

For all bluenoses: Imagine, it could be worse….

PANNU IN TRIAD SENSATION

Peter Pannu has been bailed following his arrest for his alleged involvement in a protection racket involving Triad gangs. Sgt Dixon from West Midlands Police commented,”This involves nearly every Chinese takeaway within a five miles radius of St. Andrews.” When asked to comment, Peter Pannu said,”Supporters needn’t worry, this has nothing to do with the club”.

BLUES DRUG BUST SENSATION

West Midlands Police raided the Blues ground yesterday and hoovered up all the white lines on the pitch for forensic examination after a member of the groundstaff was spotted sniffing the penalty spot.When questioned,the groundsman said he was just following the Board’s instructions and ‘chasing the dragon’. When asked to comment,Peter Pannu said,”Supporters needn’t worry, this has nothing to do with the club.”

CARSSON IN BUCK HOUSE SENSATION

Carsson Yeung was at the centre of another controversy when the Queen complained that three of her corgis had disappeared following a recent ‘goodwill’ visit from the Hong Kong tycoon. HRH said “One may be putting two and two together and making five but everytime that man looked at my corgis,he kept smacking his lips”. When asked to comment, Peter Pannu said, “Supporters needn’t worry, this has absolutely nothing to do with the club”.