New ballboys please

Andy Munro on this week’s footballing hot topic.

If there was a footballing equivalent to Room 101 then undoubtedly ballboys would be in that category, especially given the incident at the Swansea v Chelski match.

For some time I’ve marvelled at the inertia of the ballboys down the Blues. To harp back to the old days when reserve matches were played at St Andrews, it was an honour for a local lad who was a Blues fan to get an opportunity to be a ballboy. Almost as soon as someone was even shaping up to shoot, the eager ballboy would be poised like Usain Bolt on the blocks, ready to retrieve the ball in a millisecond. Perhaps they hoped that such speed and enthusiasm would catch the eye of watching club scouts, or maybe they just wanted to do their best for BCFC.

Contrast that now to the gum chewing lads currently operating as ballboys (even if you can call them that) down the Blues. Presumably they are youth players on the books and used to save money. With their shrug of shoulders as they grudgingly move from a sitting position and their ‘Whatever’ attitude, they move with the pace of Stephen Caldwell. In a race with fans, safety stewards and cameramen for the ball to be retrieved they don’t even get in a medal winning position.

The Swansea lad was a fine example of this attitude as he appeared to roll around in delayed reaction, ensuring that his pained expression was being captured. If his granddad was a miner and, if he was looking down, he would have been doubly mortified to see the youngster’s over the top reaction to the mildest of kicks. I don’t usually have much sympathy for Premier League players, especially those from Chelski but if I was being sent off, I would have made sure that the kick was worthwhile.

The lad was apparently seventeen and should have known better. I understand that the ball boy was subsequently twittering and with his feigning injury skills added to that, he must have a great future in the professional game.