Howard: Olympic shock result- boss quits

Sir Howard Elston, our sporting correspondent, reports trackside on the loopyloop world of the Tokyo Olympics.

Tokyo Olympics boss Yoshiro Mori has quit because he made boneheaded remarks saying women colleagues talk too much and are riven by rivalries. Silly man….

Here are the bigtime glitzy events that will be hit hard: 

Three-legged Sacked Race: Ready steady, you’re fired….

Downhill (all the way) skiing: See you at the bottom, Yoshi

Glass Ceiling Pole Vault: A Mori poll winner. Ladies need not apply

Mixed Tennis Doubles: Ditto

The 26 mile Women’s Marathon Chat: Delayed until runners stop talking and start running 

Hop, Skip and Jump: Exactly what Mori did before he was pushed 

High Dive: Ditto

Olympic Flame-Out: Sayonara, Mr Mori

Final Ceremony: The boss picks up his unemployment cheque

Sir Howard Elston, the greatest with the latest, covers all sports worldwide as long as it’s on cash only expenses.