Ask Howard: How do we stop Vlad the Bad?

Vlad the Bad

Sir Howard Elston answers all those tricky questions that plague our little planet.


Dear Howard:

How can we stop them pesky Russkies from poisoning folks here in Blighty? They’re ruining everything, including the weather – from Sandra in Exeter.

Dear Sandra: 

EZ Peazey, Sandy: Stop laundering Russian money pouring through our banks. Stop them buying our mansions. And force them to watch England play football this summer at their crappy World Cup Gulag Games where they’ll obviously drug the refs, poison all linesmen and jail all fans from west of the Elbe.


2 thoughts on “Ask Howard: How do we stop Vlad the Bad?

  1. All good suggestions Howard.
    I genuinely fear for the safety of fans at the World Cup.
    I witnessed a riot following a local derby in Poland when what seemed to be two gangs of skinhead neo-nazis were at it hammer and tongs(sickle). The violence was sickening and indiscriminate with plenty of weapons in evidence. I fear similar thugs will be encouraged by the Russian authorities to attack our fans as a way of demonstrating that their people are harder than our people in true Vlad style.

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