Diplomatic editor Sir Howard Elston analyses the new Trumpie inner circle.
I am sitting in Trump Towers waiting for my promised 121 behind closed doors, in camera, confidential tip-top hush-hush sit down with Prez Elect Donald Trump as I write this.
And with only a minute to spare in my frantic calendar, I can reveal just why America is on the right track. I am so pressed for time, I can only give you bullet points:
Prez Trump: What an honest, decent guy. He has agreed to pay out $25 million to a bunch of moaners even though he hasn’t admitted he has done anything wrong- just ran a non-accredited scam college for suckers. Now that’s a big hearted man.
VP Mike Pence: He only said: “Despite the hysteria – smoking doesn’t kill.” Whaaa? A brave man, give this dood a five cent see-gar. And how about “I was Tea Party before it was cool” (sic)?.
Lt Gen Mike Flynn, the new head of National Security: “Fear of Muslims is rational.” So was firing the jerk back in ’14 for being a loony tune military boss ridden with terminal crackpot paranoia
Jeff Sessions, new Attorney General: “The KKK was okay until I heard they smoked pot.” (seemingly said as a joke).
And so as I raise the red white and blue over my ipad, I salute the New America. Trumpsylvania here we come.