Situation Normal…

Award-winning comedian Jarred Christmas tells us about his acronymic life.

Jarred Christmas

 

As a touring comedian, coming up with a title for each new show is something I like to put some proper thought into – you want the title to sum up the not only what the show is about, but to give some indication of the feeling it will generate.

SNAFU is the name of my new show – and it was originally a military slang acronym meaning Situation Normal: All F****d Up.

It’s a phrase that has stuck with me since I heard it in a movie – Memphis Belle I think.

Being on the road touring I get to use this acronym a lot. Internally of course (people look at you strangely if you are on an overcrowded delayed train and you start shouting SNAFU! SNAFU!). Even though it is 100% appropriate and a term designed for that exact scenario.

Other SNAFU moments for me often involve getting back from long drive after a tour show. I’ll often not get home until maybe 3am; then my four year old daughter will wake up at 6am and make so much noise that my youngest daughter will wake up too and then I’ll have to get up with them after four hours sleep because my wife has the flu… SNAFU… achoo.

Was that rhyme a bit too much? I hate it when comedians do silly rhymes. I have seen it done too many times and I don’t like it. I guess that’s SNAFU to you too.

See – it’s a wonderful term because it works for almost every annoying and recurring thing that happens in day-to-day life.

A lot of people take SNAFU to mean that nothing’s gone as planned; but in reality the fact that nothing has gone as planned, happens so very often that it’s normal. How normal is it now to be forced to use a replacement bus service? It’s been happening for years, so it’s now normal, but – of course, still f****d up. I bought a ticket for a train and I got a bus – that’s like buying a ticket for Eminem and then being forced to watch the Tweenies.

I drive late at night a lot, it’s now pretty normal for part of the motorway to be closed, thus defeating the point of the name, “motorway” – it’s a way for motors to travel, but now part of that way is closed to motors, it’s a motorNOway. That is SNAFU.

I’ve been really enjoying this tour, there have been no dicks in my audience at all. My gigs have been a dick free zone. Every gig has been full of good, fun people having a bloody good laugh. That’s been my situation normal, but it’s not been f****d up. It’s been great.

But we don’t have an acronym for that, because, why would you bother? You don’t moan about the good times do you? And no one really wants to hear about your good times anyway. We want to hear about your misery so we can identify with it and feel a bit better for hearing it. That’s why there is no acronym for good times being normal – SNAFA Situation Normal All Fine Actually, just does not have the same ring to it.

I chose SNAFU for my show title because I like the sound of it. I also enjoy the awkwardness of regional BBC radio interviews where they ask me what it stands for. One day I won’t hold back on the F,word – that will probably be the day that we all become aware of BBC Wiltshire and a comedian called Jarred Christmas and his show SNAFU.

 Jarred Christmas: SNAFU plays at the Glee Club, Birmingham on 31st October (£10/£8, booking 0871 472 04000 www.glee.co.uk)  and Coventry Showcase on 22nd November 2013 (£10, booking 0871 220 1000 www.brcomedy.com).