Our medical correspondent Dr HOWARD ELSTON  reports on the latest events in the epoch-crunching Margaret Thatcher story

The world of experts and boffins has been rocked to its very foundations today with news that will  shock Britain (UK).

It has emerged that two days after former PM    Margaret Thatcher’s demise, she is, amazingly, still dead.

‘It is something we didn’t expect,’ a Tory Party HQ insider admitted  to me over a G&T and a hobnob biscuit. ‘But, then again,  she has truly surprised us before.’

And only minutes later came the revelation that there will be a funeral next week for the former British boss  following her ultimate death situation.

‘Terminal fatality usually ends in a burial or somesuch’ said Birmingham sociologist Paul  from his terraced redoubt.

The twin news, exclusively reported by this website, emerges as MPs sacrificed their time and energy to re convene in Westminster to pay tribute to the Tory supremo who was cast out of Downing Street by her own friends 20 years ago.

‘It will take literally seconds for me to fill in the expenses form so I can make a quick thousand or two in legitimate outgoings in getting back to The House of Commons, ‘ said one Conservative big gun. ‘But for Maggie, I’d do anything…except support her.’

Mrs Thatcher will be remembered for her great hair, her backing of apartheid, her refusal to admit that Germany should be re-united, her determination to keep the nuke and her love of the French.

Her successor, Tony Blair, told me: ‘I can’t believe she is still dead. I open My Daily Express newspaper each morning waiting to read that she is around and keeping this country safe.’

Phil, a political expert and a car dealer from Leeds, added:  ‘Once you’re dead, that’s it. I read that somewhere in a big book.’

‘But one thing you won’t read about is another West Yorkshire forecourt that is offering Clio five doors with A/C and reverse gear at the amazing giveaway prices I am throwing at all Maggie lovers.’